no shalaque for me

there are two types of people in this world: those who are messy, and those who are pretending not to be. some people are just better painters of pictures of who they want to be perceived as, but really they're just buying time. I have yet to meet a person who within a few months did not prove to be as flaw-full as me. and so I am finally at a point where I am more concerned about growing than picture painting (except for in the literal sense. I'm all for a little sketch on the side of the sunday morning bulletin) and I'm banking on the fact that just being honestly in process will be worth what I learn, and hoping that I prove to be that stone upon the beach that is easy to pass by because it seems rather rough and dull, but when polished proves a million times better than the ones you find in hoards, covered quickly in cheap shalaque, at the souvenir shop. and so I might seem childish or naive, and maybe sloppy and definitely messy, but hopefully honest, so be patient with me.