relationships don't exist

I am beginning to understand hermits (not the crabs of course). while I was rattling around on my bike the other day, perched on the seat and rather buried under piles of thought, feeling a little alone, I realized: I am. my life is nothing more than the sum of all my thoughts and memories, and all the people I consider mine are really no more connected to me than before I met them. every conversation is just noise and movement that floats on the air like dust between two people so how do relationships really exist? you can't look at them and pull apart the strands or comment on the color. you can't roll them over in your palm or hold them up to the light. relationships are just. . .memories. . .and memories aren't really real. our brains do interesting things. even two people's perceptions of the same relationship is just that: a perception. for them the realtionship is nothing but the sum of their thoughts and memories, which are not the same as your's. so really, I am just me and I am no less or more alone anywhere I am, and making noise at someone or listening to theirs doesn't change the fact no one else can step inside my brain and that is really where we live anyways, isn't it. and so the hermit on the hill maybe knows a thing or two. he's no more alone, there's just less noise and maybe a prettier view. so everyone should feel alone, or maybe no one should, because its sort of all the same. but really, I guess I dont believe this.